I suppose I should write something,
being a writer and all,
about this day.
many people celebrate this day
with flowers & flowery declarations
I
am silent
watch this day
from sidelines, silently
I am not bitter
I know that most people that say they aren’t bitter
are bitter
but I am not. I’m just
silent
there are many things that come between parents and children
that replace umbilical cords with
words held hostage in throat
sometimes home feels farther away
than the most distant memory
I don’t want to feed you clichés. I’m just being vague
truth is, I don’t want to tell you the truth
if I did then you would know all the words I edit out of all
the poems
and therein is the rest of me
the me you don’t see
I am writing this
not to tell an incredibly specific truth about my story
I am writing this because I have to do something on this day
I want to shout out everybody with complicated relationships
with their mothers
mothers who it hurts to love up close
hurts to love from a distance
I am writing this for people who did not post beautiful
pictures of their mamas
on facebook, twitter and instagram today
folks who never know how to answer “how’s your mum?”
I am writing this for those who feel an ache when they see
people in happy relationships with their mamas
I know
me too.
I still believe in healing
I still believe in loving through all the things we don’t
know how to love through
and today, if mother’s day is making you feel like an orphan
out of place
or forgotten,
I feel you.
