I’ve avoided writing this poem
said “later, later”
to this poem
I don’t want to say goodbye
I’ve loved you since forever
before puberty
through high school, through college and now
still
I love you.
your magic undeniably divine,
even the haters who can’t stand your shine,
you love them too and that makes me love you more
you make me wanna dance
and dance and dance
you make me wanna make art beautiful enough to love all of our humanities to the surface
beneath the anger we sometimes bury it in
beneath where our hurt is
I want to give you words carved with the same magic as you
words that make prisms of light like your soul do
I want to make this as beautiful as you
I want to give you tribute, give you an embrace that loves you like I did when I was 9,
like I do now,
at 29
watching you, a miracle in motion, I feel the very best of me springing from my chest,
reaching for you
to dance with you
every doubt I have about who I am
and the divinity I came to render on this planet
evaporates
whenever you’re around
I feel invincible
my soul springs forth, is called forth, is so open to you
I miss you and I want you to come back to me,
my miracle in motion, giving us so much love
my tears are stuck in me
in the same place this poem has been all these months
I feel them simmer
but rarely let them come to a boil and spill over
could you come back to me?
like some resurrection?
just show up—I would be all open arms and laughter,
ready to welcome you back with a huge meal and a Soul Train line that would go on and on and on
past many dawns
I have loved you all my life,
your music and art and dance and breath and riffs and beatboxing and dancing and dancing and dancing and dancing and dancing and dancing, Lordess, your dancing
has carried me for so many years through so much joy, uncertainty, sadness and revelry
you make revelry in me
everytime you look at me
I miss you
more than I ever knew I would
I always just assumed you’d always be here
it never occurred to me you would go anywhere
Oh Michael,
Michael, Michael…
