i know you have a girlfriend

look, i know you have a girlfriend. i know you love her: you've been together for years, you live together, share:
appliances
rent
stories
memories
a bed
a home
your heart.

i don't do that mistress shit. period. so no i ain't gonna try to holla when you're so in love.

despite this:
damn, you make me laugh,
you make me laugh hard like my stomach is still sore and we hung out hours ago.
you look at me like that, you blush when i dance and can't complete thoughts or sentences around me sometimes.
i laugh at you, at me, with you
cuz we're obviously attracted to each other but neither of us is gonna do shit about it.

you're sweet,
sweet in the details of things, of remembering what i say, checkin in with me, making sure i'm okay and lookin at me softly with everything in your eyes. when you look at me, i wonder:
was it necessary for you to look at me that tenderly?
was it necessary for me to look at you that tenderly? i don't know but damn i had to give you my eyes like that right then. it felt necessary
but
wasn't
?

i wonder if you
*didn't* share:
appliances
rent
stories
memories
a bed
a home
your heart

with her

if--if--if. where would that "if" go if i let it? somewhere not real, a fantasy of possibility full of "and then we would", "and we could", "and--and--and"
...so many ifs,
so many ifs

there's something between us
close enough to know it would be delicious
but
we have to keep our distance
cuz we cannot let ourselves taste...
ourselves.



being your friend feeds me in a slightly sensual, completely platonic way that absolutely respects your relationship with your girlfriend



ain't shit gonna happen between us
but more laughter



so i play "perfect" by doria roberts tonite at 5 in the morning
and tonite, this morning
you're the one i'm dreaming of