where i is, how i feel

I asked you to hold me

a long time ago

you didn’t or you didn’t the way I wanted to,

it hurt

I remember these things randomly, unexpected memories traipse through my day that I shrug off,

make a joke about,

no bitterness

a part of me still shivers when I remember the love we made

but that doesn’t mean I want you back

it means you knew how to fuck.

a friend said today that I look so content

I work at this

I don’t chase butches no more. I don’t chase no one no more.

just working on making my dreams come true

and laughing

and being a good person

and being honest

and saying stop when I mean stop

no when I mean no

yes when it feels right

that’s it

it ain’t fancy

it’s hella simple

I still love you

I just won’t let that love kill or define me

that’s what done changed.