1 thru 25

1. I want you to hold me. I’m not good at askin so I’ll only say it once.
2. I want someone else to handle everything.
3. hospitals make me think of surgery and grey’s anatomy, my heartbeat and visiting hours.
4. I seem strong. I’m tired.
5. there’s laundry to do. I need to clean the house. and make a dentist appt.
6. my dreams want to come true. this happens via one task at a time. I have several ongoing to-do lists. somewhere.
7. I want to look across the room and see my daddy. have my brothers and sisters besides me. cousins laughing with me. all of this is an ocean away.
8. by the way, I have absolutely no memories of my mama and daddy in the same room. none.
9. somehow I always want everything I do to be bigger. never satisfied.
10. I haven’t cried since Sunday. overdue.
11. this isn’t a poem. it’s another to-do list.
12. I want to have keys to your house.
13. I’m on a fast. might not last. don’t feel committed. need to do something with my body. tattoo?
14. love seems grand. it’s really a bunch of little things that hold my bricks together.
15. love is grand. like good chocolate.
16. I need new sheets.
17. I want a rainy day in bed. with movies.
18. don’t touch me, I’ve got it handled.
19. except that I don’t.
20. was this supposed to be poetry?
21. I am a chest. wooden. pretty metal handles. secret compartments.
22. I haven’t prayed in awhile.
23. sometimes I don’t feel appreciated.
24. my friends worry. I let them. it’s easier than opening up. I never knew I was such an emotional top until now. I keep my clothes on during conversation like the hardest butch top. no I’m good, what you need?
25. my poems don’t end these days, they just stop. unfinished, like life be. until it is. and there you are.