Saturday, August 16, 2008

jill (shaking my head and sighing)

we love jill. i mean, her music is practically a fuckin religion to some folks. i respect that. can't nobody come between me and some aaliyah, mariah, chaka. we all have our music. i went to see jill for free mon, august 11th because, shit, IT'S JILL FUCKIN SCOTT AND IT'S A FREE CONCERT IN BROOKLYN AND IT'S SUMMERTIME. my attendance was required reading for me to renew my membership to Blackness.

concert scheduled for 7:30, i got there about 5:45. line down the block. my friends were way up front. i skipped some people in line, hopped a fence, got me a seat with my friends who'd been camping out since 4:00.

concert started. jill is heterosexual. did you know that? in case there was any doubt, allllllll doubt was erased from alllllllll our minds with comments that critiqued Black women in relationships as nagging, whiny bitches. did she say those words? NO. but she did say that it's important for the man and the woman (yeah, only heteros have relationships) to continue doing the same sweet things that they did in the beginning all throughout the relationship to maintain it. she gave an example of a woman asking her man "how are you daddy?" after work and with her head motions, she imitated the motions of fellatio while continuing to--very sweetly--ask her man how he is and what it is she could do to make him happy. then she fasts forward to 7 years later and the same man walks thru the same door and the same woman says something to the effect of "damn, can't you see i'm on the phone, could you be quiet?" she's rude, she's the stereotypical rude, mean, Black woman with a bad attitude. this is her critique of why men and women break up. there is no parallel critique of whatever dumb shit men may do to have that woman that pissed off or even what mean, asshole-ish ways they may have developed over that 7 year period that could be contributing to a non-functional relationship. i say "wow", i guess the almighty Black man can do no wrong in jill's eyes.

i'm just saying, if you gonna critique the women, please critique the men too. it takes 2 you know and in the case of polyamorous or open relationships, it takes many more. :) the concert felt like what homophobic churches make me feel like--judged, excluded and annoyed. don't get me wrong--there were definitely some songs that had me out my seat and dancing, especially the house version of "he loves me". of course all our gay asses switched the pronouns to suit our orientation. ;)

the assumption that i give a fuck about YET ANOTHER straightie love song and that everyone in the audience is a breeder is so damn oppressive. as much as some love dick, i don't--not unless it's made of plastic or silicone and strapped to a sexy butch. so PLEASE DO NOT ASSUME EVERYONE IS HETERO. it's stupid and just plain...STUPID.

i like to feel like in a crowd, i exist, all of me, not just my rhythm, my Blackness, but my Nigerian dyke self. in that crowd, i felt like her commentary in between songs was spraying invisible aerosole cans on me and my crew.

but still, we queer. living our lives like they're golden, living it like i'm a golden dyke who eats pussy. it's cool if jill ain't writing a dyke love song that sounds like the inside of my heart. i'll do it. i'll tell my story and dance it. that's fuckin golden.

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